Making Room for Other Roots

Hello! I'm Cereus. A chunk of the world exploring the world. I am Autistic, and Trans*, and tend to fall in love/lust after men, women, and Non-binary people. And places.

Soil is important for life, but some of us are stranded on the rock. But one root breaking through the rock makes soil for other plants to follow. Love (as action, as doing things for ourselves and eachother) is what turns the rock into soil.

This is for little bits and pieces, and talking to some people I like. I have a blog at http://cereus.dreamwdth.org/. If you want to contact me more directly (or are tired of Tumblr's ask box B.S.) my e-mail is cereus-cactus at live.com

(Prefer to be called He/They)

Look at my "following" list for other people who write good stuff.

Following

theme: sprung

littlemissmutant:

wagnetic:

roxannewright:

A lot people tell me that talking about sex with your partner, laying out boundaries beforehand AND during, communicating and adjusting during, renegotiating boundaries during and after is awkward and “kills the mood.” Now frankly I don’t understand that, communication is awesome and usually makes the whole thing go smoother because I don’t have to worry about doing it right/the way they like it, but maybe it’s just that I’m an extremely verbal person and also tend to be very focused on my partner’s pleasure.

But for those of you who do think talking about the details of sex with your partner can be awkward, here are some useful phrases and ways to open the conversation.

Communication is sexy.

Some relevant questions for autistic/bad brains folks:

“Might you become nonverbal during sex?”
“Do you enjoy light touch, deep pressure, or both?”
“Can we negotiate in sign language?”
“I need my AAC device on the bedside table while we’re fucking.”
“If you want to stop, what mode of communication will you use to let me know? Will you be able to initiate communication to tell me to stop, or should I check in at regular intervals? How often should I check in?”
“Can I see a social story for this?”